There are moments when I get inspired to be more artistic. This weekend a piece of poetry downloaded for me to share with you. I feel it is best enjoyed in Audio but below is the written version as well.
I wonder how you would treat me if you weren't trying to possess me.
I wonder how I would treat you if I was not pushing you away for fear of being swallowed up.
If I was not a trophy for you to show off.
The proof that you are a success or at least not a failure
The world demands that you prove your worth.
It demands that you have the things you are told you need.
I fit that checklist,
but did you ever see me?
Did your wounds prevent you from seeing the truth?
The truth held deep in your heart your whole and perfect,
and the world sold you lies
So no matter how many things you checked off that list,
it always felt empty.
The empty feeling kept calling you home.
Your heart tried to show you the way.
Always there aching aching for you to hear it.
To feel it.
It was not your fault.
No one showed you what your heart was for,
so you kept looking for the things on your list.
Maybe the next one will fill that ache.
I was told those lies too, and I felt that same ache.
Your ache caused you to hold tighter.
My ache caused me to keep you at a distance, pushing you away.
I broke free and collapsed into that ache
leaned into my own heart.
I cried for all the years my heart ached without me understanding what it was saying.
I raged for all the lies I was told.
I collapsed from all the years I ran so hard to get all the things on that list collapsed in a heap on the floor, unable to move,
unable to keep pushing
no longer capable of ignoring my heart.
I pulled the covers over my head.
I hid from the world.
I stopped the noise and listened to my heartbeat.
Slowly I healed.
Slowly I found strength to get up again,
but not to return to the grind
I broke free and promised to not go back
I walked away from so much
yet on the other side of that was ME
Worth all the pain, all the tears, all the sideways glances from those who could not understand
I had to leave you behind to stand alone and discover
how strong I truly am.
